A few months ago, I had a falling out with a good friend. I was going through some things personally, and as a result l, I wasn’t a very good friend to her in a moment where she needed me. I didn’t realize that my carelessness and self-absorption had hurt her until the damage had already been done, but by the time I figured it out – it was too late. She’d ended our friendship, and I was left holding the pieces, confused and hurt over what had transpired.
My friend and I didn’t speak for quite a while, because she was unwilling to forgive me no matter how much I apologized. We remained cordial to one another (for the most part) as we traveled within our mutual circles, but it always felt tense and forced. We would have conversations, but didn’t communicate with each other. I told her I didn’t know how to not be her friend – she told me she didn’t know how to be mine anymore.
My friend was operating from a place of hurt that I simply could not understand. I knew that my intention had never been to hurt her, and I drove myself crazy wondering how an act of simple carelessness had ruined what was essentially a lifelong friendship. I made myself sick with the guilt and anger – rehashing it daily, trying to figure out how I could fix it, trying to remember why fixing it was even worth it.
Then someone gave me the best advice I could have gotten regarding that situation – *Forgive yourself, let it go, and move on*
It was so simple… I was stressing over a situation I couldn’t control (her feelings), and creating turmoil within myself that I didn’t have to. I’d done this thing (or rather, not done this thing) that had hurt someone. I felt terrible about it, but other than apologize, there wasn’t really much that I could do.
Today, I’m challenging you to forgive yourself for whatever happened in the past that causes you grief in the present. So many of us (me included) have a tendency to hold onto mistakes or missteps that we’ve made, even after the rest of the world has moved on. We cannot grow and prosper in the present or future if we insist on holding on to the mistakes of the past. This won’t necessarily absolve you of the consequences that come with your action (or in my case, inaction), but it will make it easier for you to deal with yourself from a place of love each day.
You, above everyone else in the world, deserve your love and respect. Make sure that you’re giving it to yourself daily.
Love and light – Kioshana ❤